Confessions of a Working Mom:  How a Simple Kitchen Timer Decreased my "Bad Mom" Moments.

Hello parents!  Long time, no see.  Sorry for my absence...ahhh the life of a working mom.  But I'm back, and with some good news...there is tremendous power in a kitchen timer! You might initially think "Yes, we've all heard of using timers for time out or for defining how long each siblings "turn" with a certain toy is....not exactly ground-breaking."  BUT YOU WOULD BE WRONG!  This timer, dear Mom, is for YOU.
Cut to Scenario One:

I just got home from work and am trying to get dinner on the table.  Enter 4 year-old daughter. "Mom, can you play a game with me?"  Answer: "Not now, sweetie.  Mommy has to get dinner ready."  Jump ahead two hours, getting ready for bed and doing some last-minute cleaning.  Enter 4 year-old daughter "Mom, can we do an art project?"  Answer: "Not now, honey.  I need to clean up the house and then it's bed time."  After the kids are tucked in, I think about my sweet daughter's desire for me to spend time with her, and how I was just too busy to do it.  And my heart sinks a little as I realize I will never get that moment back.

Now I have two choices: I can sit there and feel like a worthless parent, beat myself up, spend some extra time with my daughter tomorrow but by the end of the week a scenario identical to this will inevitably happen again, OR....I can build in a system to avoid it.

I found the most incredibly simple idea in Disney's Family Fun magazine article this month ( http://familyfun.go.com/magazine/) from a Mom facing a similar situation.  I tried it out last night and it was amazing!

Here's what you do:
When your child asks you to do something with or for him/her while you're in the middle of something, set the timer for 5 minutes, and tell them "When the timer beeps, we can ____(enter activity at hand)."  

This does three things: 
1. Gives you some time to wrap up your project, or at least get to a stopping point.  (You'll be amazed how much you can get done in those 5 minutes when you know the timer is going).

2. Teaches your children to respect your time, and understand that everything cannot be dropped the second they want your attention, while still validating that they are important to you, and that you will meet their needs.

3. Minimizes "bad Mom" moments where spending time with your child gets pushed to the side, and eventually forgotten. 

Cut to Scenario Two (last night):

Kids are in the tub and I'm loading the dishwasher and trying to clean up my kitchen.  Right as I'm in the thick of things, I hear "MOOOMMMMM!!! We're ready to wash up!" from down the hall.  I groan internally, but resist the urge to say "Just wait til I'm done with dishes."  Instead, I bring the timer back to the bathroom, set it for 5 minutes and say "This will beep in 5 minutes, and then I'll come wash you up."  For some unknown reason, kids are always delighted at the idea of a timer....must be the suspense of this beep that will be coming.  Anyhoo, they agreed.

I got back to the kitchen and loaded as many dishes as I could in 5 minutes.  When the timer beeped, I was ready to transition from one task to the next without feeling frustrated or interrupted.  One of the smoothest bedtimes we've had in a while! 

SO.  If you don't have  a timer...get one.  They're at the dollar store.  It's worth the dollar, I promise.  And remember, Keep It Simple, Sweetheart!

Love,
Another Mom Trying to Keep It Together....Just Like You :)