Confessions of a Working Mom: Mommy Resolutions

Ring in the New Year!  One of my favorite traditions is setting New Year's Resolutions.  Something about a new year, a clean slate...I find it all invigorating.  And I mean well....I really do.  But here's the skinny: I don't keep many of them.

That's all gunna change this year---who's with me?  Mommies out there, listen up: GET REAL.  Let's set some realistic Mommy resolutions we all can feel good about, ok?  Here's my plan and I hope you'll jump on board:

Start with narrowing down 3 areas you would like to improve or achieve.  A few suggestions are:

A Skill
A Trait
A Habit
A Routine
A Hobby
A Trip

Or

Home
Personal
Family
Professional
Religious
Physical
Mental
Social
Service

Try to stick to 3.  There are worthwhile things in each category that will undoubtedly make your life better.  But if you stick to 3, you won't get overwhelmed.  After you've chosen your 3, narrow it down to a specific, measurable, attainable goal.

Factor in how much time, money and energy you will have available throughout the year to invest in the goal you are considering, and one at a time, determine which is best for you.

Example: I would like to develop a new hobby this year.  Some areas I'm interested in are:

Archery
Dance Classes
Piano
Sculpting

(There's a great website: http://discoverahobby.com/ to help you find a hobby you might be interested in)

As a working Mom, I have minimal time to invest.  That eliminates Dance Classes; it is unlikely I will be able to schedule one more thing in the evenings at this particular point in my life that would take me away from my young kids.

I don't want the hobby to cost much money, so I probably won't be able to buy a piano, expensive keyboard, or a lot of fancy Archery equipment.  However, I could be thrifty and get second-hand things. 

I want to start right away, and in my local area there are no indoor Archery centers, so as far as a "start right away" resolution, Archery is out.

So I'm down to learning the Piano and Sculpting.  I really want to learn the Piano, but the truth is, it's a lot of work.  And I prefer my hobbies to be somewhat "mindless" and enjoyable...I know this about myself.  So, sculpting it is!

Go through this process carefully with each one.  Once you've identified the goals, set a PLAN.  How will you achieve this?  What are some possible barriers?

Example: I researched sculpting materials, identified a beginners project I could try for little money, and will try it out! I don't want it to interfere with my parenting, so I am going to get some little wooden shapes my kids can paint, put stickers on, color on, etc, while I'm learning to sculpt; we'll all do crafting together.

In the end, New Year's Resolutions should be fun, invigorating and improve your quality of life.  They SHOULD NOT be guilt trips or add-ons to your already overwhelming "to-do" list.  The New Year is a chance to refine and further yourself.

Put a solid plan in place and go for it!  And welcome to a New Year of a New You!

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Family Support Center

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Confessions of a Working Mom: 3-minute Festivity

I've never been the most crafty woman in the world...or...ok, at all.  Does giving your kid a dollar store coloring book and markers count as crafty?  Cause that's about the level I'm on. .

That said...I still want my kids to have some fun festivities.  But, if you'll remember our mantra...Keep It Simple, Sweetheart!  Kids don't really care if it's elaborately designed, or thrown together in 3 1/2 minutes.  So why do you??

Parents, I give you....the jack-o-lantern patty.  Turkey burger patty, cooked in the microwave in 3 minutes.  Cheese slices cut into shapes put on top and melted in 30 seconds from the heat of the patty.  And an 89 cent ghost cup to top off this spooky dinner.

You'll be surprised at how thrilled little things like this make your kids!  And you won't feel to shabby either :)

Happy Halloween!

Bath Time Blues...Kiss 'Em Goodbye!

Bath time can be a migraine for any parent...but here's a little trick that helps!  Like anything, it gets old if you do it every single bath.  But if you save it for nights you are particularly short on patience...it's a lifesaver!

A squirt of shaving cream, a drop of food coloring, mix and serve with paintbrushes!  Your kids will have a blast painting the walls and sides of the tub.  It washes off easily and is a fun way to keep them entertained and eager to get in the tub :)

Happy Parenting!

Confessions of a Working Mom:  How a Simple Kitchen Timer Decreased my "Bad Mom" Moments.

Hello parents!  Long time, no see.  Sorry for my absence...ahhh the life of a working mom.  But I'm back, and with some good news...there is tremendous power in a kitchen timer! You might initially think "Yes, we've all heard of using timers for time out or for defining how long each siblings "turn" with a certain toy is....not exactly ground-breaking."  BUT YOU WOULD BE WRONG!  This timer, dear Mom, is for YOU.
Cut to Scenario One:

I just got home from work and am trying to get dinner on the table.  Enter 4 year-old daughter. "Mom, can you play a game with me?"  Answer: "Not now, sweetie.  Mommy has to get dinner ready."  Jump ahead two hours, getting ready for bed and doing some last-minute cleaning.  Enter 4 year-old daughter "Mom, can we do an art project?"  Answer: "Not now, honey.  I need to clean up the house and then it's bed time."  After the kids are tucked in, I think about my sweet daughter's desire for me to spend time with her, and how I was just too busy to do it.  And my heart sinks a little as I realize I will never get that moment back.

Now I have two choices: I can sit there and feel like a worthless parent, beat myself up, spend some extra time with my daughter tomorrow but by the end of the week a scenario identical to this will inevitably happen again, OR....I can build in a system to avoid it.

I found the most incredibly simple idea in Disney's Family Fun magazine article this month ( http://familyfun.go.com/magazine/) from a Mom facing a similar situation.  I tried it out last night and it was amazing!

Here's what you do:
When your child asks you to do something with or for him/her while you're in the middle of something, set the timer for 5 minutes, and tell them "When the timer beeps, we can ____(enter activity at hand)."  

This does three things: 
1. Gives you some time to wrap up your project, or at least get to a stopping point.  (You'll be amazed how much you can get done in those 5 minutes when you know the timer is going).

2. Teaches your children to respect your time, and understand that everything cannot be dropped the second they want your attention, while still validating that they are important to you, and that you will meet their needs.

3. Minimizes "bad Mom" moments where spending time with your child gets pushed to the side, and eventually forgotten. 

Cut to Scenario Two (last night):

Kids are in the tub and I'm loading the dishwasher and trying to clean up my kitchen.  Right as I'm in the thick of things, I hear "MOOOMMMMM!!! We're ready to wash up!" from down the hall.  I groan internally, but resist the urge to say "Just wait til I'm done with dishes."  Instead, I bring the timer back to the bathroom, set it for 5 minutes and say "This will beep in 5 minutes, and then I'll come wash you up."  For some unknown reason, kids are always delighted at the idea of a timer....must be the suspense of this beep that will be coming.  Anyhoo, they agreed.

I got back to the kitchen and loaded as many dishes as I could in 5 minutes.  When the timer beeped, I was ready to transition from one task to the next without feeling frustrated or interrupted.  One of the smoothest bedtimes we've had in a while! 

SO.  If you don't have  a timer...get one.  They're at the dollar store.  It's worth the dollar, I promise.  And remember, Keep It Simple, Sweetheart!

Love,
Another Mom Trying to Keep It Together....Just Like You :)

Summer Snow

Let kids decorate homemade snow with syringes (you can get these free at pretty much any in-store pharmacy...just walk up and ask for them) and colored water.  It's a hit every time!

To make the snow, just put ice and water in your blender.  It takes a surprising amount of water to get the thick white slush...almost 50/50.  Then fill short cups with water and food coloring...they'll do the rest!  Be aware...they'll probably ask you to make them more than one bowl of snow :)  The project can last longer if you crush more ice and fill a cake pan instead of just one small bowl.  That also gives them more width to spread the colors over.

Enjoy and stay cool!

Love,
Family Support Center

30 Second Bean Bags

What CAN'T you do with a bean bag?  A supply of bean bags can keep kids occupied for hours.  Games like trying to toss them in a laundry basket across the room, through hoola hoops, who can throw the bean bag farthest, find the hidden bean bags....you get the idea.

Yesterday I needed a bunch of bean bags...like 20....for a preschool activity.  I thought I would have time to quick sew some up.  That did not happen.  So as I'm frantically grasping at straws (at about 11 pm the night before I need them mind you)....I came up with this.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you....the 30 Second Bean Bag.

1. Find baby socks your kids can't fit into anymore (you know they're in the bottom of the drawer somewhere)

2. Stuff with beans

3. Tie top with yarn

Done and done!  Remember how we talked about kids not caring how fancy things look?  They don't.  They'll toss these puppies the same as they would a "real bean bag".  

Happy Weekend!

Confessions of a Working Mom: Keep it Simple, Sweetheart.

 The lesson here was simple: "Keep it Simple, Sweetheart!"  My kids couldn't care less if the hearts were tattered, ugly pieces of fabric or beautiful stuffed pillow hearts...the game was the same!  They didn't care.  I had put this silly, unrealistic (for me) standard on myself.  And wasted the precious hour of naptime being frustrated...

So there I was, feeling guilty about all the cutesy "mom" things my kids miss out on because they have a working mom.  Birthdays, for example.  I do not make the cake.  I have a zillion and one friends who can make these incredible, cartoon character themed cakes.  I buy mine.  Yep, I pack up my toddler and let her pick one out.  She loves it!  But I sometimes feel like a slacker mom.

So I caught the "I need to be more crafty" bug, and had this idea to sew all these little colorful heart pillows.  Then I would hide the pillows and the kids could go find them.  Sounds great, right?  Well...I didn't have the time (or extra money) to buy bright, cute fabric, so I cut the hearts out of old clothes that were way to ugly to ever be worn in public.  Then after I stitched about 3 hearts, I realized it's a very hard shape to sew...and then I got frustrated and gave up.  Nap time ended much too soon, and the kids came bouncing down the hall.  I was shocked to hear my daughter ask, "Mom, what are these cool hearts?"  as she pointed to the pile of unsewn, flat, hideous hearts I had cut out.  These fabric cut outs were a far cry from the cute, colorful pillows I had imagined.  But as two pairs of anxious eyes fixed on me and asked, "Are we going to play a game?"  I just didn't have the heart to tell them that Mommy had failed at this project so completely that the game was forever ruined.  So instead I said, "Yep!  I'm going to hide these in the living room and when I call you in, you guys see how many you can find!"  This was followed by cheering, and I ended up hiding all 21 hearts no less than 5 times before they began to tire of the game.

The lesson here was simple: "Keep it Simple, Sweetheart!"  My kids couldn't care less if the hearts were tattered, ugly pieces of fabric or beautiful stuffed pillow hearts...the game was the same!  They didn't care.  I had put this silly, unrealistic (for me) standard on myself.  And wasted the precious hour of naptime being frustrated.

Another example of simple games: color sorting.  Kids LOVE to sort!  I gave them a deck of CandyLand cards and some containers and they went to town.  KEEP IT SIMPLE!

Berry Pickin'!

Berry Pickin'!

For three years I've had this giant tree by my house.  For three years I've cussed the purple stains on the sidewalk and the berry goo that gets on my car and tracked all over.  Then a thought occurred to me...what are those berries anyway?  So I did some asking.

Turns out, they were mulberries. And turns out...they are nummy!!  I knocked on my neighbors door (a neighbor I am ashamed to tell you I'd never spoken to) and asked if she would mind if my family and I picked some mulberries.  She was thrilled to let us, and even invited us to pick walnuts from another tree she had in her yard in the fall.  Free walnuts and berries?  Yes, please!

Why am I telling you this?  Well, here's where the family thing comes in. 

#1. My kids LOVED picking berries
#2. My kids LOVED eating berries
#3. Mom LOVED the free price...and the free berries I froze which will later turn into nearly-free jam
#4. We got out of our shell and met our neighbors...a rare thing.

In Salt Lake we are fortunate enough to have fruit trees all around us.  Chances are, someone in your neighborhood has a fruit tree.  Chances are also good that this tree yields more fruit than that person can handle, and he/she would be more than happy to have you come pick some.  It keeps their yard and sidewalk free of fallen, rotting fruit and makes everyone feel good about sharing.

Berry pickin' is a fun, free activity that gets neighbors out of their isolated lives and interacting.  So go on...knock on your neighbors door!

As a BONUS family activity...make jam, pie or some sort of dessert out of the berries and bring some to your generous neighbor who shared their fruit tree with you!

Scrap Booking Give Away!

Scrap booking is a fun way to capture memories of your family and children.  We think we'll remember everything....but we won't!  FSC will be giving scrap booking supplies away next Tuesday 6/5/12 via Facebook drawings.  To enter to win:

Go to Family Support Center's Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/pages/Family-Support-Center/105507539507643 and "Like".

Then "Share" the current status describing the give away.

And Voilà!  We'll draw a winner next Tuesday (6/5) so click away, friends!

Confessions of a Working Mom: Parent Smarter, not Harder

Working Moms are the community's everyday hero.  She wakes up early, goes to bed late, balances toddlers and half-chewed cheerios on one knee, in heels and a skirt and grocery shops on her lunch break.  It's no surprise that things can be...well....a little tense.  One working Mom found her saving grace with this funny looking thing:

WHAT???  That's right.  This homemade contraption has made the "getting home" transition much smoother and happier at "Working Mom's" house.

"When I first get home from work is always  the most difficult time of day," Working Mom said.  "The kids want my attention, I'm still trying to unwind from work, and I'm already behind with dinner and housework as soon as I walk in the door.  Lots of whining, tears and frustration for all."

But then this Mom decided to parent "smarter, not harder".  She did some real problem solving to see what could be built into her routine that would help make this getting home transition easier for her, her three year- old and her two year-old.

"What they needed was attention...what I needed was time.  So I made this little device.  I give them 10 minutes first thing, and it ends up saving me a lot of time overall."

What you're looking at is nothing but a cardboard tube, Popsicle sticks, and stickers.  Each Popsicle stick has a 10 minute activity written on it.  Examples include: Read a Story, Play Hide-And-Seek, Play Go-Fish, Color, Do a Puzzle and Play Toss the Ball in the Basket.  Each activity is simple, will take no more than 10 minutes, and can be done in work clothes.

The idea is that the first thing Working Mom does when she gets home (yes, even before she changes), is to pull out this baby.  A child pulls out one stick, and you do that activity.  BAM!  Child's needs are met and Mom is granted a little more leeway at the end of the activity when she needs to change her clothes and start dinner, etc.

"I really wanted to make it look unusual," Working Mom said.  "That way it's kind of a fun thing they look forward to because it looks different from  the things they see regularly." 

"Another thing to keep in mind," she said, "is to ONLY pull this out when you get home from work.  Never any other time.  Also, explain ahead of time that you are only doing ONE per day and each child will get his or her turn to choose a stick (or whatever you use) tomorrow, or the next day, etc."

Kudos to working moms!  And remember: BE CREATIVE!  Parent smarter, not harder!

Welcome!

Hello to all you families out there in cyber space!  Family Support Center is so excited to start this blog.  We'd like to first introduce ourselves; we are (as I said) Family Support Center.  We are located in Salt Lake City and we offer free and low cost services to improve the quality of life for families in Salt Lake County and surrounding neighborhoods!  Our mission is to "Protect Children, Strengthen Families, and Prevent Child Abuse".  Our goal is to make life easier, happier and all-around better for children and families.

Though our physical facilities are limited in geographic reach (we are a charity...so budgets are a gruesome reality for us) we are hoping to spread our knowledge, experience and ideas to help parents everywhere have happy, healthy, well-adjusted families.

Our website is www.familysupportcenter.org.  Please visit to learn about free crisis nursery care for children ages 11 and under, family and individual counseling, free in-home parent support, and much more.  Pay attention to the "Articles of the Month" as they provide fun links to parenting resources.  Everything from money saving tips, to outdoor activities, to cooking....all the elements of parenting.  And hey, while you're there...like our Facebook page.  How can we spread our good will without an audience?

We'll be posting regularly with events, fun family ideas, stress tips, parenting resources, and more! 

WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY!